My 3rd journey

I met T on an online surrogacy classified site. She posted a wonderfully written and funny ad,  I knew I had to respond because her ad made me laugh! She called me the same evening we emailed and I knew instantly that I just HAD to carry for her! We felt like great friends immediately, she was honest, raw, funny, just an overall beautiful person.

We matched in October 2-3 weeks after I answered their ad and we and planned our first insemination for the following month. They lived several states away, so we had to plan travel. Of course, as a holiday ovulator I ovulated 5 days early on Thanksgiving! I tried to get to the airport, I rushed, ran out of gas, called my husband to drive me, and he got a flat tire about 15 miles from the airport! So I missed the last flight of the day and that cycle was a wash.

The following month was not much better, I got a positive OPK on Christmas Eve, again almost a week early. We were out of town with family for the holidays, I ran to the airport, missed the last two flights of the day. Went back to my in-laws house with plans to leave the next morning. It was snowing horribly, I missed my flight by 10 minutes, and booked the next one 8 hours later and drive back to my in-laws, of course it started snowing even harder and we got snowed in for the next 6 days. I tried to make it back to the airport anyways, could not even pull out of the driveway, my flight got canceled, and to make matters worse my son ran outside to kiss me goodbye, slipped on the ice and lost a tooth!

The third time was a charm, I flew out with no problems, met T and her husband D in person. We signed contracts and I stayed at their house for 4 days while we did inseminations. It was slightly uncomfortable with D, he was very nervous, and uncomfortable around me! So I mostly did things with T, and we left him alone :) Thank goodness this improved over the course of the pregnancy, those silly IFs!

Once again about 10 days later I was able to email T a picture of our first positive pregnancy test! We had such a wonderful pregnancy! I wanted to deliver in their State, after a lot of soul searching I decided that I did not want them to feel like they were picking up their child and flying him home, I wanted them to be like all new parents, deliver in their local hospital and have a short drive home. So I got more medical care than almost anyone I know!

I had two midwives, one here in my state, just in case I had any complications or went into labor early, I wanted to have a provider here I was comfortable with and who was familiar with me. I also flew out of state once a month to see my midwife there. It was so wonderful to have them so involved with every visit! My pregnancy was so easy, and T and I talked daily!

At 37 weeks I flew to T and D’s, relaxed for a week and helped them get ready for baby. This was the best part of my entire pregnancy, I got to do last minute shopping with T, watch D put the crib together, really see them preparing for their new baby. D was the most nervous, T and I just couldn’t believe it was almost over, we both were pretty sad that our journey was coming to an end.

My midwife and all of us decided it would be ideal to have me induced, so that I wasn’t waiting around for weeks. I loved spending time with T and D, but we were here to have a baby and I did not want to be gone from my own family very long. I begin getting ready by eating "labor" salads, taking evening primrose oil and red raspberry leaf at 37 weeks to start getting my cervix soft and my uterus ready. At 38 weeks I was 3 cm, and my cervix was “ripe”, we decided to induce the next day!

The next morning we checked into the hospital and my midwife broke my water. I started having contractions a few minutes later. I used a breastpump to help get me going, and pumped for about 15 minutes on each side. T was with me the entire time, rubbing my back and encouraging me, she was so sweet! D kept asking if I wanted a glass of water, I think he had no clue what his role should be or what to do! My midwife checked me 2 hours into labor and I was 9 cm!

I decided to get onto all fours on the hospital bed, T sat on the edge of the bed, I pushed for about 20 minutes and David James came into this world! My midwife caught him and immediately placed him into T’s arms. T was crying just staring at her perfect little boy! I realized I was on all fours with my butt in the air! D was afraid to come over! I sat down, and D came over to marvel at his son, he looked shocked. My midwife had him cut the cord, and the new family moved to the warmer.

T and D had their own hospital room down the hall, and the nurses moved them there while I finished up! I started to pump about 15 minutes after the birth and easily delivered my placenta. I had a very small tear, so small my midwife did not think it needed to be stitched. I continued pumping, took a short nap, had a visit from a friend and called T and D to let them know I was ready to visit!

About 5 minutes later T came to my room with baby David while D called every single person they knew to give them the great news! It was so exciting for me to see this uncomfortable, shy man turn into a proud papa I only minutes. I gave T the bottle of colostrum I had pumped so far and watched her feed her son. I had no sadness at all, I felt the same as my second journey, just overwhelming joy and pride watching this woman I loved so much with her son.

I got to hold baby David and he was the cutest little boy! We took pictures and just spent time together for a few hours ooohing and aaahing over every noise and grimace he made. Then T took him back to their room so they could have some family time and I could rest. It was then my turn, I called my husband, talked to my kids, slept some more, ate finally, and enjoyed a day of relaxation and pride knowing that a beautiful family was down the hall that I helped create!

T invited me to stay for a few days, she was worried about me flying so soon, but I was ready to get home to my own family! I physically felt great, I was only having minor spotting and went to the airport from the hospital. Our goodbye was so sweet, we hugged and cried, T tried to insist they take me to the airport, that I come rest with them first. It may sound strange, but I wanted them to be able to walk into their home alone, as a new family and really get to spend time together without me or anyone else around.

I had a great friend who had moved to the same city as them, she visited me in the hospital, picked me up, we went to lunch and she drove me to the airport. I thought I would have wanted to stay, I just really wanted to give the space and to see my husband and little guys! T would not let me leave until I swore I would call the second I landed, which I did. We talked for an hour and a half!

We spoke or emailed everyday, I loved hearing how tired and happy they were, seeing pictures everyday of their family. She sent me everything, and it helped so much. I was worried we would talk less once she was a mom, but we talked even more! We are still so close, we don’t talk every day anymore, but at least 1-2 times a week. A week after I got home I got a really sweet card and photo album in the mail from them with pictures of ultrasounds, my pregnancy, visits, the hospital and of them at home.

I think it so funny I set out to do one surrogacy and I cannot imagine never doing another one! I cannot even describe the reward I get from helping someone else. I have developed such close and wonderful friendships with all my IM’s. I got more than I had ever hoped for in surrogacy, I thought I would be giving this great gift, I never in a million years would have imagined the gift these families gave me would be greater than anything I could do for them!