My 2nd journey

My second journey for A and A was as perfect as they come. I met A through an online classified ad, we emailed back and forth for about a week and then finally were able to connect on the phone. I adored A instantly, she is such a strong, natural, kind woman, she was supportive of a homebirth, and after homebirthing 2 of my own children it was something I wanted to do again. She also planned on inducing lactation and breastfeeding, which I was so excited about!

I felt the same connection I had felt with P, an instant kinship and comfort, we would speak for hours everyday and nothing and everything. We matched fairly quickly about 3 weeks after our first phone call; our first insemination was scheduled for the following month. Contracts went very quickly and easily, I was doing a no comp journey, so I did not feel it was necessary to have an attorney review my contracts. I read them over, agreed with everything and we met up to sign them during the day since the notary would be closed that night when we planned on doing our first insemination.

Meeting them in person was great, A and I talked the whole time, A the husband did not speak much, but he put his hand on A’s thigh when she was signing and I caught a glimpse of the love he felt for her and his family. We signed contracts, A the husband went back to work then A and I had a great lunch, and agreed to see each other that evening. I did inseminations the same way as the first time, since it worked so well before, 3 nights with an instead cup, and sure enough as A and I sat in her bathroom 9 days later we saw the second line!

A and I were so close during the pregnancy, she asked my opinion on baby names, she bought me post partum things, I bought her a nursing bra and breastfeeding book. We commiserated about our sore breasts and hormones as she was on lactation induction medications. She came to most of our midwife appts, both A’s came to all ultrasounds, we found out they were having a girl which was so exciting! A had a baby shower and invited me, I did not attend, I wanted this to be her moment, but the fact that she wanted me there meant so much to me.

We had planned a home water birth, A bought a birthing tub and it sat in my garage just waiting. At 39 weeks I started having contractions, I called A and my midwife, both who said they were on the way. I loved laboring at home, I had music, candles, low light and the babies mother next to me. My children were starving, it was dinner time, A the husband watched my water break as I was standing in the kitchen insisting I make my children dinner.

He turned so white and I watched him clutch the counter, I thought he was going to pass out! So my husband asks him if he would be ok taking our kids to grab some pizza, he looked more relieved than I have ever seen anybody in my life! Once my water broke I asked my husband to get the water tub ready, he went into the garage to bring it in and fill it up. I went into my bedroom with my midwife and A so they could help me change into dry clothes.

I suddenly felt a huge amount of pressure, I squatted down and asked my midwife to see how far along I was. She checked me and said oh my goodness, not only are you ready, but you’re crowning! I stayed in the position I was in, A got in front of me and held my hands while I pushed, my midwife looked at A and said “mom would you like to deliver your baby?”

A reached down and pulled her precious little girl Abigail to her chest, she was crying and smiling at me, my midwife dried Abigail off and A and I both sat on the floor. A put Abigail to her breast, she latched on right away and was could not take her eyes off her mom! I could not stop crying, I was filled with so much joy, so much pride. I felt so blessed to have been the vessel that brought this baby to her family!

My midwife told me to let her know when I had my first contraction, I relaxed, I cut Abigail’s cord, and my midwife helped me to the bed to deliver my placenta. I started using the breast pump with my first contraction, had about 3 contractions total and my placenta was out. I had not torn at all, and was barely bleeding, I felt great! My husband walked in saying the tub was ready and A and I just looked at each other and started laughing. My husband was shocked! He came over and kissed me and had to look at Abigail and proclaim how absolutely gorgeous she was!

A the husband got back about this time, and was shocked that it was over! He joined A in my room and they cood over the baby, he took Abigail and A came to me and gave me the hardest hug, she cried and thanked me over and over. After she nursed for a while longer I got to hold little Abigail. This experience was so different from my first journey, I felt no strong attachment, I felt like I was holding a niece or nephew, I loved her she was gorgeous, but she was very clearly A and A’s.

After a couple of hours the AAA’s went home :) I rested, ate and pumped every 2-3 hours as my midwife instructed to kepp my uterus contracting. I will admit I skipped the middle of the night pumpings so I could sleep all night! The next morning I woke up to an email from A with some pictures and a link to an online album she set up so I could see all their pictures! We talked daily, she asked me for parenting advice, babysitting requests, help with nursing techniques, we talked like any other best friends who were both moms!

We still talk several times a week! We formed such a strong relationship during our journey, she is more like a sister than a friend. I love her, I love Abigail. I have no regrets at all about my journey, this was the single most selfless and rewarding act I have ever done, and I cannot wait until they are ready for a sibling!